My mother taught me

My mother taught me FORESIGHT:
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”

My mother taught me IRONY:
“Keep crying and I’ll *give* you something to cry about.”

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:
“If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times: Don’t Exaggerate!!!”

My mother taught me about ENVY:
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents like you do!”